Senyum Karang

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Berjalan terseok. Gurat-gurat di wajahnya semakin menampakkan kelelahan luar biasa.
Sorot matanya pun terkadang hampa, meskipun masih sering terasa mampu menghujam jiwa.
'Aku sudah tua', begitu selalu dia berkata. Ya. Dia tahu betul itu. Namun selalu ada senyum setelah kalimat itu. Tak jarang matanya lalu menerawang, kadang berbinar, kadang redup.

'Aku masih sanggup', katanya setiap kali kesulitan mendatanginya. Enggan merepotkan orang atau arogan, entah. Tapi memang dia terlalu keras kepala untuk dilarang.
'Untuk apa kita bergantung pada orang lain sedangkan sesungguhnya kita mampu melakukannya?', petuahnya.
'Bukannya aku ingin semua berpikir bahwa aku perkasa, tapi aku hanya ingin masalahku cepat berlalu', ungkapnya setiap kali tudingan atau suara miring itu hinggap di telinganya.

Pembenaran!
'Aku selalu berharap seseorang itu membantuku, mendampingiku, meringankan bebanku, menepiskan raguku, hingga hilangkan lelahku. Tapi seseorang itu hanya ada di benakku. Mungkin dia terlalu sempurna untuk jadi nyata. Ah, biarlah. Paling tidak seseorang itu selalu ada di diriku. Tak kan pergi dia tinggalkanku. Tak kan mati dia dari semangatku.'

Senyum itu. Indah menghiasi wajahnya.
Senyum itu. Dia tebarkan ikhlas untuk jiwanya. Agar tak kering karena lelahnya.

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Too many words in mind .. susah nulisnya deh :P

It's just different

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I fell. Too much deep falling, I guess.
I come more realize that life is not just filled with happiness. But there are also cry, sadness, failure, pain and so things.

I’ve been done with all of that. And I still not satisfied with what I had. I still look up for my happiness. An ideal happiness that had been created in mind. I was thinking that I have to do something. I have to break this sorrow glasses surround me. In the name of happiness.

Something trigged me out. Push me very hard. And it successfully delivers my decision into reality.

Times goes by, the happiness has not come yet. It still away to get. Still hard to have. But still worth to catch.

The life is not the same anymore. The cave is on its end. But I came to the gate of another cave. Could be darker. But the life must go on. There is something in hand that must be delivered safely to end of the cave.

It is just different.

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Said, ‘Don’t do something because of me. Do it because you want it!’
I don’t do it because of you. But luckily you are the caused…

Thanks for the ‘undelivered’ Good Bye message :)